I wish I would have listened to my intuition as it was trying to protect me, but I was blinded. Under the false belief that we had established a deep level of love, trust, loyalty, care & commitment in our partnership.
Yet, everything that I already intuitively knew was & continues to be painfully revealed to me. The veil was lifted & now I see it was a facade. I just didn’t want to accept it.
I have learned that I can’t ignore my inner knowing & must trust source w/in me. We are told that relationship issues should be kept private. More specifically, I was told by my ex partner that there is no need to share what happened & that I not spread “rumors”. But these are lived realities of which the impact was felt profoundly- mentally, emotionally, physically, & spiritually. I refuse to be silenced. They emphasized that break ups don’t have to end in a toxic way. They don’t & shouldn’t, yet they made a toxic move which felt like a stab in the heart that broke me & left me in pieces. Only followed by inflicted suffering & a lack of both remorse & respect. All of which they did knowing the vulnerable state I was in due to a serious mental health relapse I was experiencing.
I have to have my own back, stand up for myself & speak my truth.
I will not continue being the “nice”, mindful, compassionate, & forgiving person to someone who has continuously taken advantage of my vulnerabilities. I will no longer justify or tolerate infidelity, emotional abuse, manipulation, hypocrisy & toxicity.
I will not allow someone to make me feel broken, ashamed, unworthy & disposable.
To expect sexual intimacy from me w/out the commitment to doing the dirty work of radical healing y liberación. To blame me for the poor decisions they made. To discredit all of the emotional labor I invested which now they take & claim as theirs. To refer to my trauma & mental health as “shit”. To invalidate my feelings/experiences & claim that I am “victimizing myself”. To break boundaries we had established. To make me feel unsafe, threaten & physically trigger me.
I refuse to allow low vibrational energy to continue to consume & destroy me. I fiercely & unapologetically protect my heart & spirit.